A Day to Keep

This morning was the kind of time with my friends (big and little) that I wish I could bottle and keep forever. After Easter’s craziness (houseguests, food sensitivities, and schedule-wrecking activities) it’s just so wonderful to get back in to our regular routine.  The three 2-year-olds girlfriends were tickled to be together again. They fought, laughed, danced, shared, snatched, and played together as they always do. Little LL and Katie (RR's mommy) were great company as well.

 I introduced the toddlers to use of a mortar and pestle to grind eggshells for the garden. The girls did a beautiful job of crushing, counting, sharing, and then feeding the plants. They were colored eggshells so the garden beds are especially festive now.

The weather couldn’t BE more beautiful and the girls brought baskets and plastic eggs outside to reenact the fun of the egg-hunts. They are getting so big and learning so much these days. I see the way they talk to each other and cooperate and I am amazed.

We read good books and spent lazy moments together on the futon watching a video. We sat at the lunch table and enjoyed favorite healthy foods and had fun listening to music, talking and just being together. We had our customary dance (for one song) after lunch.

After lunch, RR’s mommy Katie, went to take care of 8 and ½ month old LL who’d just woken up, as the big girls went down for nap. I rocked RR and BB “for two songs” together on my lap. They would catch each others’ eyes and just bust out laughing. They reminded me so much of my girlfriends and me when I was younger that I teared up a little. After dozens of “I love you”’s and “Sweet dreams” the girls went to sleep, Katie went home, and I got on with the important task of 1 on 1 LL time. I love my life.

A Day to Keep

This morning was the kind of time with my friends (big and little) that I wish I could bottle and keep forever. After Easter’s craziness (houseguests, food sensitivities, and schedule-wrecking activities) it’s just so wonderful to get back in to our regular routine.  The three 2-year-olds girlfriends were tickled to be together again. They fought, laughed, danced, shared, snatched, and played together as they always do. Little LL and Katie (RR's mommy) were great company as well.

 I introduced the toddlers to use of a mortar and pestle to grind eggshells for the garden. The girls did a beautiful job of crushing, counting, sharing, and then feeding the plants. They were colored eggshells so the garden beds are especially festive now.

The weather couldn’t BE more beautiful and the girls brought baskets and plastic eggs outside to reenact the fun of the egg-hunts. They are getting so big and learning so much these days. I see the way they talk to each other and cooperate and I am amazed.

We read good books and spent lazy moments together on the futon watching a video. We sat at the lunch table and enjoyed favorite healthy foods and had fun listening to music, talking and just being together. We had our customary dance (for one song) after lunch.

After lunch, RR’s mommy Katie, went to take care of 8 and ½ month old LL who’d just woken up, as the big girls went down for nap. I rocked RR and BB “for two songs” together on my lap. They would catch each others’ eyes and just bust out laughing. They reminded me so much of my girlfriends and me when I was younger that I teared up a little. After dozens of “I love you”’s and “Sweet dreams” the girls went to sleep, Katie went home, and I got on with the important task of 1 on 1 LL time. I love my life.

Toddler Dictionary

Now you, too, can speak Toddlerese fluently. It may seem that there are typos or mistakes in this; No, that's how they really talk.

   Glaramous - Full of or characterized by glamour. 

As in, “I wook glaramous in dese beads.”

   Yummalella -  large oblong or roundish melon with a hard green rind and sweet watery red or occasionally yellowish pulp.

As in, “Pwease may I can have some mo’ yummalella?”

   Zoon - In the near future; shortly. 

As in, “I poop again zoon, Aunt Dinah!”

   Ah-luv-ya  -  The beautiful female baby who lives with us. 

As in, “Baby Ah-luv-ya, don’t be sad. You’re not awone.”

   Woohd  -  Ill-mannered; discourteous. 

As in, “My fwiend did a Woohd, when she throwded her peas.”

   Nursus -  Either of two milk-secreting, glandular organs on the chest of a woman. 

As in,  “Becca don’t have (indicating her chest area) uh…uh…uh… nursus!”

   Fink – To ponder or consider.

As in, “Mommy! WHAT are you finking?”

   Pin - turn around rapidly, as on an axis; twirl; whirl.  

As in, "I wearing a tutu, I pinning awound!"

   Baldy - Eighteenth century composer of "Four Seasons." 

As in, "I wike pinning awound wif Baldy!"

   Lullo - The color of bananas. 
As in, "Barney singded a song bout lullo."

Please feel free to add more as you think of them! Hope you smile and have a great day!

Mommy's Lament

I used to know this lady.

She was a person who knew her own worth, and you could tell that just by looking at her. Her make-up, jewelry and clothing were not the most up-to-date or expensive; but planning, care, and taste were evident in them. Her hair and nails and skin were well-cared for, and her best features were enhanced with thoughtful restraint.

She loved many people very well, and was well-loved in return. Her limited time, resources and energy were used intentionally on things that were worthwhile and important. She and her husband lavished each other with affection. They laughed often, pursued hobbies together, and had many shared goals to work toward as they anticipated their future.

She was fit, a Marathoner, even. She had friends who were good influences and encouraged her to strive for achievement professionally, physically, intellectually and spiritually. “Just Do It,” was more than a cliché in her world-view. It was a way of life. Unencumbered by inertia, she navigated obstacles and negative influences to be a person who respected and inspired herself.

Where did she go? I miss her. Was that really me?

Now I am Mommy and Aunt Diana, primarily. I am not sure what others see when they look at me, but I see someone with a lot of potential who has let her “self” go. I know these crowded, child-rearing years will not be forever, but before (in a former life, it seems) I found I was unable to blossom as my own self while I was drowning in “mommying” the first time around. It wasn’t ‘til I became an empty-nester at age 36 that I was able to act on what I knew was best for ME. I am terrible at putting my needs and wants as a top priority. Do I really need to wait another 18 years before I can grasp that concept again?

I am a firm believer that my actions will teach my kids way more than my words will. I want to be a good, healthy, fit, and productive example for my precious girls. Can I fake it til I make it? I need prayer, inspiration and a swift kick in the pants.

I am a toddler.

I can dump it out- but not put it back in.

I can open it- but not close it.

I can dirty it- but not clean it.

“Help me do it ALL BY MYSELF!” is my insistent battle cry!

I want what I want when I want it, and all I understand is that I am not getting it.

I am emotionally incontinent, loud and demanding.

There are things I want to tell you, but I lack the words, the patience, and the social awareness to know how.

What do you mean, “Hitting hurts people?” I do it all the time and it never hurts me!

I am egocentric and haven’t learned about others’ perspectives. “How would you like it if he did it to YOU?” means nothing to me.

This transitioning to independence is HARD. I say, “Go away I am not a baby!” and “Please come here, I need you!” in the same breath.

I am clumsy, exuberant, energetic, and a mess!

What do you mean it’s a good thing I am so adorable?

Believe it or not, someday you will wish for these crazy, crowded, exhausting days back again.

I am a toddler, but not forever…..

Someday I’ll be an adolescent.

It's The Little Things

It’s hard to predict how a day will go with these Sweeties. I can plan all I want, but often they let me know we need a different plan. Here are some examples of ‘interruptions’ to our day.

Sometimes, like today, an “owee” can turn a little person’s day inside out and we just need lots of cuddle time with books or a movie. Other problems that respond well to this usually effective remedy are teething, over-tiredness, getting over an illness, weaning, or  recovering from a drastic change in schedule (like a vacation or grandparent’s visit). If it’s really bad, then rocking and singing may be necessary during the cuddling, too.

Sometimes energetic, over-exuberance bubbles over and threatens to become misbehavior… I can usually cure this with Tickle-Monster Attacks, puppets, or a dance party.

Enthusiastic learners will often want the same art, songs, stories, fingerplays, or videos (thus, we probably must know all the words to “Madame Blueberry” by now) over and over and over and over and over. I try to let them show me their interests and I expand upon them.

Misbehavior is often just a cry for attention, so then I can start a Stroller Parade, get them moving like different animals (the gorilla-walk is my current favorite), or start a game of “Find the Color.”  Counting and cheering while they jump on the trampoline, can be good for this, too,

Crankiness, irritability, or frustration can cause them to be overly rough (banging, ripping or knocking things around). This is when some classical music and a calm activity, like an interactive book on my lap, can really help. Sensory activities, like playdough or fingerpainting, are awesome at these times, too.

Taking turns, and sharing the same small spaces and toys can be frustrating. This is when I try to distract, help them use their words, trade, share, play together, or settle for something else somewhere else. Playing catch (a dozen different ways) helps them practice taking turns – good distraction, too.

All these ‘interruptions’ aren’t really derailing their important lessons, rather they ARE their lessons. No matter what we’re doing I always ask myself… “What are they learning from this?”

These small events make up the fabric of our day. The academics (letters, numbers, shapes, colors, manners, science, motor skills, etc.) are all woven in there together. When they are bigger I will expect a certain amount of conformation to more formal lessons/activities on their part. Right now the best I can do for them is conform to them and their needs as they have them.

Why I Do It

In this blog I’ve mostly spoken about the good, fun, encouraging things that fill my days here with the kids.  After all, the bible tells us to dwell on things that are good, lovely, worthy of praise, etc. - and that’s just good, sound mental health advice, if you ask me. Also, frankly, there ARE many, many instances all through the day, every day, that are that are absolutely wonderful.

However, I do get discouraged sometimes. I will be dodging peas, wiping milk spills, trying not to step on the dropped blueberries and asking the kids the same things I always request of them ("Use your big-kid words. Food stays on the table please. We take SMALL bites and chew, chew, chew!") while the same kids’ songs play over and over. Or I will clean up the same messes over and over until I could just scream from back-ache and weariness. Don’t even get me started on the many dirty diapers and other bodily messes that are almost constant. There are many tedious, difficult, and down-right GROSS things that I do on a daily basis. My goal (and prayer) is to do them cheerfully and with love. Mother Theresa (a personal hero of mine) said, “There are no big things, only small things done with great love.”

Here alone with kids all day, I sometimes wonder if anyone knows, or cares, about the thought, effort, and energy that I pour into these children (I don’t wonder that a lot, since I DO, thankfully, have parents who are very caring and appreciative, and who show it on a regular basis). There are, though, so many little things (and big ones) that I do that hardly one knows about – singing tons of songs to comfort, amuse, entertain, teach, and encourage good choices, cutting bread and other food into interesting shapes to discuss while we eat, making up games, coming up with sensory and creative opportunities for them, using every possible opportunity to teach the kids counting, letters, manners, colors, shapes, and kindness to others, and mostly taking the time to talk, laugh, dance, tickle, cuddle and joke with them.

What a gift it is to have the time to look into their eyes and really listen and respond to their discoveries and concerns. The fact that I get to experience the miracle of their growing and changing is what makes it fascinating and, over all, never boring. Sure, sometimes the walls can feel like they’re closing in on me. But it’s only temporary. The opportunities here with these babies are limited time offers and I understand how fleeting and important that is. So I sigh, smile, and press on.

Here it all is in a nutshell - I know what I do all day… from the wonderfully rewarding things  to the dreary grunt-work…. God knows about it, too. ….Most of all, the kids know and will be better off for it. They are so absolutely worth it all and more.